Why stand so close....

Hey people in line behind me. Why you have to stand so close? You're next. After me. No matter what. No matter how much space is between us. You're next. I'm not suggesting you stand far away, I get it, others might be confused, or think you are not officially in the line. Just knock it off. I'm bumping you to hopefully take a step back, but you don't. I say sorry, you say "It's ok". You stay close. I bump you again. You seem irritated and give me a look like "How dare he". I just want you to know, I hate you. I hate you with all my heart. 

Love Mark

I hate Blogs...

Hello Friends,

First of all, I just want you to know two things, I hate blogs. Secondly, I write this thinking not one human will ever read it. Maybe these two things are connected, I look down on my own opinion so much and think no one would possibly want to hear what I have to say, that I can't understand how Bloggers SHARE EVERY THOUGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING SINGLE THING. 

So here it goes, my first Blog.

Cheez Whiz has less calories than peanut butter. So, when choosing what item to eat on celery or toast while trying not to be a fatso becomes difficult. I get it, peanut butter should contain actual nutrients the body needs, but does it really? I mean, I'm not at the factory, are they actually using peanuts anymore? Or is it like hotdogs, they just toss left over pig anus and cow testicles in a big pot with a dash of peanut flavour. I get it, Cheez Whiz is probably horrible for the body. The oddest thing about it is I can't stand the taste of it on its own. I KNOW THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. (Look, you are just going to have to deal with the fact that during these blogs I'm going to make your arguments for you, and they will usually be negative and angry, cuz that's what my brain is going to make me hear in my head) MARK YOUR BRAIN IS IN YOUR HEAD! But it's true, if I eat Cheez Whiz on its own, it tastes gross, but when spread on an item, delicious. 

Life can be a struggle. Two delicious spreads. I know many of you at his point want to respond and let me know how much you hate Cheez whiz. That's because that's all we do now. Voice our opinions when it opposes someone else's view. Try and think back to the last time you took the time to write someone and say, "Hey, I agree with your views on Cheez Whiz" 

The world is a dumpster fire right now, everyone is so angry and opinionated. I just want some things to be simple. If John Lennon were alive today, he would agree, It's time for Peanut Butter and Cheez Whiz to have the exact caloric value. 

Conclusion: I rarely eat either.