Mark Forward tries really hard to present Mark Forward

By: Mark Forward

"Mark Forward is really good". Strange way to start an article that you're writing about yourself. For years now, to start every set, I quietly say "Thank you, I'm really good." Silly way to start and gets the crowds attention. Inside though, I've never believed it. Still struggling with it. What I have learned though, as I'm trying to bring awareness to my new comedy special "Mark Forward presents Mark Forward", is some small molecule inside me, might actually believe it. Every time this special is rejected, every article that doesn't get written about it, breaks me a little more. My brain has been arguing with itself "maybe it's not good, maybe it's not worth recognition" as I reply to myself  "no, it's good" the same brain retorts "Settle down ya egomaniac."

I'm not looking for fame. I'm not looking for money. I'm a 43 year old Canadian Comic that probably should have left for greener pastures years ago, but held a stupid belief that if you do the work, it shouldn't matter where your house is. So, Morgan Flood, Milan Curry-Sharples and Myself did just that, we did the work. No comedy specials were being made in this country at the time. So, I took what I think are my best jokes, we shot it in 4k, we sold the place out, and we made a special. In Canada. By ourselves. We were excited. We loved the product. We had no doubts this was going to go well. (Cough). And then, Every network and streaming service in this country passed.  Cue my Brain "Maybe it's not good..." etc. and so on for hours. 

Well, we thought, the Canadian press won't let us down. I was just on Fargo season 3, recurring role on Letterkenny, and writing and producing on "What would Sal do?" Not bad. Press release went out. Nothing. 

I've had a lovely career, that I will keep plugging away at, been very fortunate to do what I love for 20 years. So please don't read this next part the wrong way. I'm reaching an age where reality sets in, as it must for millions of performers. No big break is coming. It's just reality. And it's ok. To be honest, I'm not sure I even want that anymore. What I would love though, is for this special to be seen. That's it. For it to be seen and to be judged, loved if it's good, and attacked if it is not. As a young comic you have high hopes of doing many specials, but unfortunately, that's just not how it plays out for most. As an old comic I now think, I have one, I am lucky. So, all I can say is, I'd love for you to watch it so maybe I could find out if I'm any good. 

Love

Mark Forward